We celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary yesterday in the very best way – all three of us cuddled in bed watching a Tinkerbell movie. Given the everyday chaos of raising a toddler and finishing a basement, we decided a night in, enjoying the little family and life we’ve built together, was the best way to celebrate.
We have been together for eight years in total, but I have learned a lot more about Daren and relationships in the last four years of marriage than I did in our four years of dating. Why? because we are committed. We are a WE, not just two people who enjoy spending time together. Though we still do! Most of the time!
In the past four years together, we have traveled the world , built a house, had a baby, experienced loss and taken on a whole lot of DIY projects. I’d like to think I’ve learned a thing or two in that time. I have a heck of a lot more to learn, but for your entertainment here are four things I’ve learned from four years of marriage.
1. Compromise is necessary. I talk a lot about how we compromise on design decisions on this blog. We are two different people with different views. Sometimes you just want to shiplap your mudroom and your spouse is not on board! In seriousness, we have different backgrounds, opinions, weakness and strengths. In order to peacefully and happily cohabitate, neither of us can always get what we want. This is harder for me.
2. Find your thing. Everyone says to schedule date nights once a month. We don’t necessarily schedule our dates. We don’t even go on traditional dinner dates often, but we do spend plenty of time child free thanks to nearby grandparents. This time is often spent in the lumber section at Lowe’s. That’s our thing. We may bicker over finishes, but we thrive when taking on projects. He looks good handling power tools and feels macho after the project is complete, and I think that results look pretty. Everyone wins. Bottom line – I like spending time with him.
3. Laugh with your spouse. Life gets hard sometimes, bad things happen and sometimes we fight over what to eat for dinner. If we weren’t friends, who could laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, we wouldn’t stand a chance. Daren said one of the first things he noticed about me was that I laughed without abandon. He thought it was quirky, a bit weird and it unnerved him a little. Today he gives me a lot of reasons to laugh. Sometimes at him and sometimes with him, but either way there is laughter.
4. Grilled cheese solves everything. Daren makes the best grilled cheese sandwich that has ever touched my lips. He knows that whether it’s to celebrate the best or forget the worst, a grilled cheese sandwich is always the way to go.